Hi I’m Joscelyn, a recovering codependent, people-pleaser, and perfectionist turned Master Mindfulness Practitioner, Trauma-Informed Yoga Instructor, and Certified Ritual Guide. I help people let go of toxic habits, situations, and relationships. Check out past editions and sign up below.
How to be Wrong and Recover
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Defensiveness is two people pointing weapons at each other, one must put theirs down first for anyone to start feeling safe. PERSPECTIVE SHIFTSLast week I shared a story on threads and talked about both my experience in couples counseling and sharing that story with other people. I had to admit that I was wrong in order to move forward in my relationship. My husband also had work to do, but that was his business and his choice. My work was to see where I was holding up a weapon and choose to put it down. This is a vulnerable position to take. One of the pieces I talk about in the latest episode of my podcast is fearing people taking advantage of us when we put down the weapon and release ourselves to vulnerability. REFLECT: Do you feel safe being vulnerable? Do you sense your own defensiveness or can you witness it in others, as a self-protection method? BEHAVIOR SHIFTSAdmitting that we're wrong usually takes less words than we think. Often times when we're trying to reconcile, we want to give a lot of context to our decision-making processes so the other person doesn't villainize or demonize us for missteps or under-grown behavior. We may feel that more words will help but instead they begin to sound like justifications, excuses, or defenses. TRY: The next time you're wrong and you want to admit fault say less. Use as few words as possible and instead focus on understanding and validating the experience of the other person. THIS WEEK FROM TMLReady to build yourself up? Check out these articles 👇🏻
✨NEW EPISODE✨ In this week's episode of The Pursuit of You podcast I start answering some questions and comments from my mini-viral thread. (Read the thread here) Go check out the thread and please add your questions and comments! I'll be discussing all throughout the month of July in each episode of the podcast. Thank you so much for being here. I hope this was helpful for you and I'd love to hear your feedback! Let me know how this perspective or behavior shift helps. And don't forget to check out TML's Favorites to find all the latest on my book reviews and product recommendations to bring you more peace of mind. 🫶🏻 You are accepted exactly as you are, don't forget it. In warmth & growth, p.s. Check out TML's Yoga section for more on Oracle Card Readings, Yoga in-person and via zoom, guided meditations and more. |
Helping You Cultivate Healthy Self-Focus
Hi I’m Joscelyn, a recovering codependent, people-pleaser, and perfectionist turned Master Mindfulness Practitioner, Trauma-Informed Yoga Instructor, and Certified Ritual Guide. I help people let go of toxic habits, situations, and relationships. Check out past editions and sign up below.
The first step to turning an unhealthy relationship into a healthy one is taking care of yourself. PERSPECTIVE SHIFTS I recently shared a story on threads about my husband and I in couples counseling. In the story, I talked about how I thought I had our problem all figured out but I was wrong. Something I didn't expect from sharing that story, was how many people would commend me for admitting my fault and taking accountability. I realized what a strength it is to admit being wrong and how...
Expressing your thoughts and feelings will feel like a burden if you're overly concerned with how it makes someone else feel. PERSPECTIVE SHIFTS When you're made to feel like you're too hot to handle, you're more likely to withhold your true thoughts and feelings. People often use a tactic I call The Hot Potato Game to make someone else feel like they're "too much" to avoid rejection or to not deal with feelings. If you've been made to feel like you're being too serious or you can't take a...
"The health of any relationship depends greatly on communication and met needs." PERSPECTIVE A non-seeker is someone who is not trying to understand you but is rather challenging you to get them to understand. It may feel like they're being evasive even when they're presenting as trying to understand. When you encounter a non-seeker you can see them as needing help or as using a tactic to avoid an exchange of empathy. Understanding is like climbing a mountain. You won't reach the top...