Defensiveness is two people pointing weapons at each other, one must put theirs down first for anyone to start feeling safe. PERSPECTIVE SHIFTS Last week I shared a story on threads and talked about both my experience in couples counseling and sharing that story with other people. I had to admit that I was wrong in order to move forward in my relationship. My husband also had work to do, but that was his business and his choice. My work was to see where I was holding up a weapon and choose to...

The first step to turning an unhealthy relationship into a healthy one is taking care of yourself. PERSPECTIVE SHIFTS I recently shared a story on threads about my husband and I in couples counseling. In the story, I talked about how I thought I had our problem all figured out but I was wrong. Something I didn't expect from sharing that story, was how many people would commend me for admitting my fault and taking accountability. I realized what a strength it is to admit being wrong and how...

Expressing your thoughts and feelings will feel like a burden if you're overly concerned with how it makes someone else feel. PERSPECTIVE SHIFTS When you're made to feel like you're too hot to handle, you're more likely to withhold your true thoughts and feelings. People often use a tactic I call The Hot Potato Game to make someone else feel like they're "too much" to avoid rejection or to not deal with feelings. If you've been made to feel like you're being too serious or you can't take a...