Hi I’m Joscelyn, a recovering codependent, people-pleaser, and perfectionist turned Master Mindfulness Practitioner, Trauma-Informed Yoga Instructor, and Certified Ritual Guide. I help people let go of toxic habits, situations, and relationships. Check out past editions and sign up below.
Small Shifts to Protect Your Energy
PERSPECTIVE ADJUSTMENTEmpathy may seem like a simple way to connect but empathizing is as physically exhausting as running. Consider how tired you feel after trying to understand or help another person this week. How could you have helped, supported, or offered guidance without extending empathy? JOURNAL: Do you believe it's ever ok to withhold empathy from someone? Why or why not? There are people who will try to access your empathy without your consent. In my book, Unraveling the Human Experience, I call this the "non-consensual extraction of empathy." If you feel that someone is trying to make you feel bad, I want to let you know, you have the right to refuse. They may try to use their judgment to force your extension of empathy, but you still don't have to give in. REFLECT: See how it feels this week to refuse a non-consensual extraction of empathy. I'd love to hear your experience. CHANGED BEHAVIORThe first thing anyone wants to do when they feel tired is rest. It makes sense that after working, taking care of your home, your family, your pets, and whatever other responsibilities you have, that all you want to do is sit. But most of the energy we expend that leads to exhaustion is intellectual. Our constant thinking, planning, preparing, and recovering, are the biggest factors depleting our energy. TRY: Use physical activity this week to quiet your thoughts. Take a 30 minute walk or try 15 jumping jacks in your living room. Notice how your thoughts quiet down after you've finished the activity. NEW FROM TML
Thank you so much for being here. In warmth & growth, Joscelyn Kate |
Helping You Cultivate Healthy Self-Focus
Hi I’m Joscelyn, a recovering codependent, people-pleaser, and perfectionist turned Master Mindfulness Practitioner, Trauma-Informed Yoga Instructor, and Certified Ritual Guide. I help people let go of toxic habits, situations, and relationships. Check out past editions and sign up below.
Defensiveness is two people pointing weapons at each other, one must put theirs down first for anyone to start feeling safe. PERSPECTIVE SHIFTS Last week I shared a story on threads and talked about both my experience in couples counseling and sharing that story with other people. I had to admit that I was wrong in order to move forward in my relationship. My husband also had work to do, but that was his business and his choice. My work was to see where I was holding up a weapon and choose to...
The first step to turning an unhealthy relationship into a healthy one is taking care of yourself. PERSPECTIVE SHIFTS I recently shared a story on threads about my husband and I in couples counseling. In the story, I talked about how I thought I had our problem all figured out but I was wrong. Something I didn't expect from sharing that story, was how many people would commend me for admitting my fault and taking accountability. I realized what a strength it is to admit being wrong and how...
Expressing your thoughts and feelings will feel like a burden if you're overly concerned with how it makes someone else feel. PERSPECTIVE SHIFTS When you're made to feel like you're too hot to handle, you're more likely to withhold your true thoughts and feelings. People often use a tactic I call The Hot Potato Game to make someone else feel like they're "too much" to avoid rejection or to not deal with feelings. If you've been made to feel like you're being too serious or you can't take a...